if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
