so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
