Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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