I hate all girls vehemently.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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