Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
