You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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