Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
