forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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