So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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