Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Duck Duck Cougar?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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