We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
