I wish I could punch you in the face.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
