so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
