I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
