Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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