So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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