If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
