Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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