put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
