is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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