I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
