My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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