Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
