now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
