By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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