dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
