My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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