...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
