my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
