The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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