just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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