you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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