I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
