I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
