I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
