No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
