Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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