last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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