Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
