That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
