so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
