I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
