LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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