So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
