Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
