I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
