He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
