just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
