just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
