It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
