and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
