And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
